10 Hilarious Wedding Toasts Funny Enough to Make Everyone Laugh (Updated August, 2025)
Discover how to craft wedding toasts funny enough to leave everyone in stitches. Learn tips and tricks to make your toast unforgettable!
By Juan C Olamendy · Updated:
Ever stood up at a wedding, flute of bubbly in one hand, the other wiping sweaty fingerprints off the linen, praying your knees don’t give out before the punchline? Yeah, same. We’ve all seen that poor soul who tries to be funny and the room just coughs. But when the joke lands? Magic. Suddenly Uncle Pete’s doing the worm and Grandma’s snorting rosé.
So let’s make you that hero. Below you’ll find the cheat codes—tiny stories, one-liners, and timing tricks—that turn a polite clink-clink into a full-blown standing ovation. Nail this toast and people will still be quoting you at the next family barbecue. Ready to trade those jitters for jaw-drops? Grab another sip and let’s roll.
Introduction
Weddings are a whirlwind of cake tastings, happy tears, and questionable dance moves.
But let’s be honest—what everyone really waits for is the toast.
A killer wedding toast can have the room roaring, sniffling, and raising glasses all at once, and nine times out of ten the magic ingredient is humor.
Below, we’ll break down how to write and deliver a funny wedding toast that guests will quote long after the confetti’s been swept away.
The Importance of a Wedding Toast
What is the purpose of a wedding toast?
Think of it as the verbal confetti moment: you’re cheering on the couple, wishing them a lifetime of Netflix marathons and burnt lasagna, and letting both families know you’re officially on the same team.
The role of humor in wedding toasts
Humor is the social WD-40—it loosens everyone up, melts awkward small-talk, and makes the speech stick.
Just keep the jokes kind; no one wants Grandma to choke on her shrimp.
Funny Wedding Toast Ideas
Writing the Hilarious Toast
Avoid too many inside jokes.
Save the “remember Ibiza 2016?” story for the group chat.
If Great-Aunt Sheila won’t get it, skip it.
Don’t poke fun at the happy couple.
Roast potatoes, not people.
Gentle ribbing (“Sam once burnt water—now he makes Julia pancakes every Sunday”) is safe territory.
Strike the right balance between funny and serious.
Start with a laugh, land on a lump-in-the-throat moment, then lift the glass.
It’s a sandwich: joke, heart, joke, cheers.
Have someone else vet it.
Run it past the couple’s best friend—if they wince, rewrite.
Practice, practice, practice.
Say it to your dog, your steering wheel, your barista—whoever will listen.
Muscle memory beats stage fright every time.
Funny, Short Wedding Toasts
Sometimes the best mic-drops are mini:
- “To love, laughter, and a shared Netflix password!”
- “May your love be like Wi-Fi—strong in every room.”
- “Here’s to you two: proof that swiping right can go so right.”
Funny One-Liners for Wedding Toasts
Quick zingers:
- “Marriage: the only war where you sleep with the enemy—congrats on the treaty!”
- “Love is blind; marriage is the eye-opener—glasses up!”
- “To the groom: may your gaming skills finally pay off in real life.”
Funny Wedding Toast Closing Lines
End big:
- “May your arguments be short and your make-up pizza be large.”
- “Like a good wine, may your love age—and may we all be here to taste-test.”
- “Love, laughter, and no one hogging the blanket!”
Personalized Sentiments
Adding a personal touch to your funny toast
Tell the story of how the bride once rescued the groom from a spider with nothing but a flip-flop—true love in action.
Funny Quotes for Your Wedding Toast
Funny Wedding Toast Quotes from Poems
- “Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets.” — Ogden Nash
- “To keep your marriage brimming… whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” — Ogden Nash
Funny Wedding Toast Quotes from Movies
- “Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’… it lasts forever.” — Knocked Up
- “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to share the last slice of pizza.” — Rom-com remix
Funny Wedding Toast Quotes from Songs
- “Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage.” — Frank Sinatra
- “I wanna grow old with you… but first, let’s eat the entire wedding cake.” — The Wedding Singer
Funny Wedding Toast Quotes from Famous People
- “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times—always with the same person forgetting to take out the trash.” — Mignon McLaughlin (slightly paraphrased)
- “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half-shut afterwards.” — Benjamin Franklin
Tips for Writing and Delivering a Funny Wedding Toast
Great Wedding Toast Writing Tips
Structuring your toast
Hook → Heart → Hooray.
Start with a laugh, share why these two are perfect, raise the glass.
Incorporating humor effectively
If it needs an emoji to land, it’s too risky.
Stick to stories everyone at table 7 and table 12 will get.
For the Couple
Tailoring your toast to the couple
Swap generic compliments for specifics: “Jessica, you turned Tom’s legendary lateness into ‘fashionably on time.’”
Practice, Practice, Practice
Record yourself on your phone—cringe once, fix twice, nail it the third time.
Have Someone Else Vet It
Your brutally honest sibling is perfect for this.
If they snort-laugh, you’re golden.
FAQs on Funny Wedding Toasts
What is a good short wedding toast?
“To love, laughter, and locking the bathroom door before arguments.”
What is the funny wedding drinking toast?
“May your love age like wine—and may we all be invited to the tastings.”
What is the best opening line for a wedding speech?
“Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops—cheers to equal overtime!”
How do you give an unforgettable wedding toast?
Tell one true story, land one kind punchline, end with one giant cheers.
Repeat until your cheeks hurt from smiling.
What do you say at a wedding toast?
Celebrate the couple, roast them gently, wish them wildly.
Then raise the glass before the best man steals your thunder.
Useful Links
- ScribaMax
- Create Wedding Speech
- 10 Hilarious Wedding Card Messages to Make Them Laugh!
- 10 Heartfelt Wedding Speech for Son and Daughter-in-Law Examples
- 5 Heartfelt Ideas on What to Write in a Wedding Card for Son and Daughter-in-Law
- 5 Heartfelt Ways to Say Happy Anniversary to My Son and Daughter-in-Law
- 10 Heartfelt Religious Wedding Wishes to Bless Your Union
- 10 Heartfelt Wedding Speech Examples for Best Friend's Big Day
- How to Write a Wedding Toast
- Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
- Wedding Toast Tips
- Wedding Toast Examples
- How to Give a Wedding Toast
Conclusion
In conclusion, wedding toasts funny and heartfelt can elevate the entire celebration, leaving a lasting impression on everyone present.
Humor plays a crucial role in making a wedding toast memorable, as it not only entertains but also helps to break the ice and bring people closer together.
Key takeaways include understanding the couple's personalities, keeping the humor light and appropriate, and practicing your delivery to ensure it flows naturally.
By incorporating these elements, you can craft a wedding toast that is both funny and touching, making the special day even more unforgettable.
