10 Hilarious Wedding Card Message Examples to Make Them Laugh! (Updated August, 2025)

Weddings are those rare days where everyone’s grinning, the champagne’s fizzing, and a little wisecrack tucked in an envelope feels like the cherry on top. Ever noticed how one perfectly timed gag can turn a plain card into the one the couple keeps on the fridge for years?

In this article, we'll dig into how to scribble wedding wishes that are actually funny—lines that make them snort-laugh instead of just “aww.” When you’re done, you’ll have a pocketful of sharp ideas and real examples so your note doesn’t drown in the sea of flowery clichés.

Crack those knuckles, summon your inner class clown, and let’s give the newlyweds something to laugh about every anniversary.

So, get ready to unleash your inner comedian and make the newlyweds laugh out loud!

Introduction

Weddings are those big, sparkly days stuffed with hugs, happy tears, and—if you’re lucky—a quick joke that lands just right.

Slip a funny line into a wedding card and suddenly the sappy stuff feels a little less syrupy.

A well-placed punchline doesn’t just cut the sweetness; it sticks in their heads long after the cake’s gone.

Picture the couple knee-deep in lace and envelopes, then hitting your card and actually snort-laughing.

That tiny moment? Pure gold.

In this post we’re digging into how to nail that perfect funny wedding card message—part clever, part sweet, all unforgettable.

No matter if you’re writing to the bride, the groom, or the brand-new “we,” you’ll find tips and real-life zingers ready to steal the show.

So grab a pen, loosen the tie, and let’s make your card the one they quote every anniversary.

Why Choose a Funny Wedding Card Message?

Humor plays a vital role in wedding cards.

It breaks the ice and adds a personal touch that resonates with the couple.

A funny wedding card message can lighten the atmosphere, especially during the emotional moments of a wedding.

When you choose humor, you create a memorable experience for the couple, making your card one they’ll cherish.

For more insights on the importance of humor in wedding cards, check out Card Factory: Wedding Cards.

What to Write in a Wedding Card: Funny

Funny Wedding Wishes for Newlywed Couple

When it comes to funny wedding wishes, creativity is key.

Here are some humorous messages you can consider:

• "Congratulations on finding someone who will tolerate your weirdness for life!"

• "May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever!"

• "Welcome to the world of married life, where 'yes, dear' is the secret to a happy marriage!"

• "Congrats on locating the one human on earth willing to put up with your brand of weird—may the parole board be kind!"

• "May your love be Wi-Fi strong when the router’s acting up, yet still old-school enough to remember anniversaries without push alerts."

• "Welcome to the married club, where the Wi-Fi password is ‘yes-dear’ and the membership fee is paid in laundry socks."

These messages not only bring a smile but also reflect the joy of the occasion.

Feel free to mix and match or use them as inspiration for your own unique message!

Funny Wedding Card Messages for the Bride

The bride deserves a special touch of humor in her wedding card.

Here are some tailored funny messages just for her:

• "Congratulations on your wedding! Remember, the secret to a happy marriage is... just kidding, no one knows!"

• "You’ve found your prince! Now, just remember, he’s still a frog at heart!"

• "Cheers to love, laughter, and a lifetime of pretending to like his cooking!"

• "Congrats on the big day! The secret to marital bliss? Plot twist—nobody’s cracked that code yet, good luck!"

• "So you landed your prince—adorable. Just don’t forget he’s still 80% frog on the inside."

• "Here’s to love, belly laughs, and decades of fake-smiling through his mystery-meat casseroles."

These messages celebrate the bride while adding a light-hearted twist.

Make sure to personalize them to fit her personality!

Funny Wedding Card Messages for the Groom

Grooms also appreciate a good laugh.

Here are some funny wedding card messages for the groom:

• "Congrats on your wedding! Just remember, happy wife, happy life!"

• "Welcome to the club! You’re now officially outnumbered by women!"

• "Marriage is a workshop... where the husband works and the wife shops!"

• "Congrats, man! Quick cheat sheet: if she’s smiling, you’re winning—memorize that."

• "Welcome to the squad—you, her, and the dog who’s already picked sides."

• "Think of marriage as a handy little workshop: you bring the elbow grease, she brings the credit card."

They poke fun without leaving bruises, so tweak away until it sounds like something you’d actually say over a beer.

These messages not only bring humor but also reflect the fun side of marriage.

Feel free to adapt them to suit the groom’s sense of humor!

Funny Wedding Messages for Family and Friends

Funny Wedding Messages for Cards to Daughter and Son-in-law

When writing to your daughter and her partner, humor can add a special touch.

Here are some humorous messages:

• "Congratulations on your wedding! May your life together be filled with love, laughter, and a lot of takeout!"

• "Welcome to the family, son-in-law! Just remember, we have a strict 'no returns' policy!"

• "To my daughter and her new husband: May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever!"

• “Congrats on the wedding, kids! Here’s to a lifetime stuffed with love, belly laughs, and a permanent stack of take-out menus on the fridge.”

• “Welcome to the clan, son-in-law! Fair warning—our family has a strict no-return policy, so you’re stuck with us (and our holiday sweaters).”

• “To my daughter and her brand-new partner-in-crime: may your love have Wi-Fi strength when life glitches, yet still be old-school enough to last longer than grandma’s fruitcake.”

These messages celebrate the couple while keeping the tone light and fun.

Humorous Wedding Card Messages to Son and Daughter-in-law

For your son and his partner, humor can also play a significant role.

Consider these funny messages:

• "Congratulations! You’ve officially found someone who will put up with your quirks!"

• "Welcome to the family, daughter-in-law! Just remember, we’re all a little crazy here!"

• "To my son and daughter-in-law: May your love be like a fine wine... better with age and a little less expensive!"

• “Congrats, kiddo—you’ve somehow convinced another human to embrace your oddball habits. Well played.”

• “Welcome to the tribe, daughter-in-law! Heads-up: our family tree’s got a few squirrels in it, but we’re mostly harmless.”

• “To my son and his brand-new better half: may your love age like that bottle of cheap wine we hid in the cellar—tastier over time and thankfully not pricier.”

These messages not only bring a smile but also reflect the joy of family.

Funny Things to Write in a Wedding Card to Your Best Friend

Your best friend’s wedding is a perfect opportunity to showcase your humor.

Here are some personalized funny messages:

• "Congrats on your wedding! Now you have someone to blame for your bad decisions!"

• "Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’ll be looking for a club and a spade!"

• "Cheers to love, laughter, and a lifetime of inside jokes that no one else will understand!"

• “Congrats on the big day! From now on you’ve got a built-in scapegoat for every questionable life choice—use wisely.”

• “Marriage is basically a deck of cards: you start with two hearts and a diamond, and ten years later you’re hunting a club and a shovel.”

• “Raise a glass to love, loud laughs, and those weird little inside jokes that make outsiders wonder if you’re both slightly unhinged.”

These messages celebrate your friendship while adding a humorous twist.

Feel free to customize them to fit your unique bond!

Crafting Your Own Funny Wedding Card Message

Funny Wedding Quotes & Sayings

Sometimes, a well-placed quote can add the perfect touch to your wedding card. Below you’ll find a hand-picked batch—some fresh, some classic—that you can lift wholesale or tweak until it sounds like you wrote it at 1 a.m. with cake in one hand and a pen in the other.

Quick-fire one-liners

• “Marriage: the only war where you sleep with the enemy—and steal their covers.”
• “Congratulations! You’ve unlocked the ‘forever’ level; cheat codes still unknown.”
• “May your love be like Wi-Fi—strong in every room, even the bathroom.”

Slightly longer zingers

• “Marriage is a walk in the park… Jurassic Park. Bring snacks, a map, and maybe a flare gun.”
• “Here’s to love, laughter, and a joint Netflix queue you’ll actually agree on—may the odds be ever in your favor.”

Pop-culture-twisted quotes

• “Love is blind, but marriage is the optometrist appointment you can’t reschedule.” – loosely inspired by Pauline Thomason
• “A good marriage is like a smartphone: it only crashes when you forget to update it.” – overheard at a Best Buy wedding registry desk

Borrowed-from-the-pros quips

The following lines have been floating around the internet and wedding halls long enough to earn honorary uncle status. Use them as-is or give them a personal twist:

1. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.” – Unknown
2. “A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” – Unknown
3. “Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.” – Pauline Thomason
4. “The best way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it once.” – Anonymous, via Good Housekeeping
5. “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” – Agatha Christie, quoted in Personal Chic

Make it feel handmade

If you’re nervous about sounding like a meme, sandwich the joke between two personal sentences:
“From the day you two argued over pineapple on pizza, I knew it was real. Remember, marriage is like that pizza—sometimes cheesy, sometimes nutty, but always better shared. Congrats, weirdos!”

FAQs

What to Write in a Wedding Card Comedy?

When you’re scribbling something funny in a wedding card, stick to jokes that feel like an inside hug—nothing that pokes old bruises.
Slip in a pun, a meme-worthy quote, or a quick story about the time they both tried IKEA assembly and only built resentment.
Keep it upbeat; steer clear of exes, politics, or the couple’s fertility plans.
Blend the giggles with a pinch of genuine “I’m so happy for you” and they’ll keep that card on the fridge forever.

What Message to Write in a Wedding Card?

Think of the couple first—are they mushy, sarcastic, or somewhere in between?
Then pick your flavor: pure swoon, pure snark, or a swirl of both.
Even a straight “Congrats, you two! Wishing you endless love and belly laughs!” works if you add a doodle of their dog in a tux.
Whatever you land on, scribble a memory or an in-joke so it feels like it came from you and no one else.

What is a Nice Short Wedding Quote?

“Love isn’t counting the years—it’s making every single day count.”
Ten words, whole story, zero cheese overload.
Pop it in the card, underline “every,” and watch them melt.

What is a Simple Verse for a Wedding Card?

“May your love be Wi-Fi strong when life glitches, yet old-school enough to outlast every anniversary dance.”
Short, sweet, and just clever enough to earn an “aww” followed by a snicker.

Useful Links

• Personalized Wedding Cards
• Marriage.com, “150+ Funny Wedding Card Messages for Newlywed Couples
• Personal Chic, “50 Must-Read Funny Wedding Wishes and Card Messages
• Good Housekeeping, “210 Beautiful Wedding Wishes and Messages to Write in Their Card
• 5 Heartfelt Ideas on What to Write in a Wedding Card for Son and Daughter-in-Law
• 5 Heartfelt Ideas for a Son and Daughter-in-Law Wedding Anniversary Card
• 10 Funny and Lighthearted Wedding Card Messages to Make Them Laugh

Conclusion

A funny wedding card message can turn a sweet little note into the one the couple quotes for years.

We’ve tossed around plenty of tips and zingers, so you’ve got ammo for every brand of weird the bride and groom bring to the table.

Bottom line: know who you’re writing to, keep the jokes fluffy, and sneak in a memory or nickname so it couldn’t have come from anyone else.

Pick a snappy one-liner or a pun that makes them snort—either way, your envelope is going in the keep-forever pile.

Don’t let the confetti settle before you write it; laughter is the easiest gift to wrap.

Need more brainwaves? Hit up our idea bank and start scribbling the card they’ll still giggle at on their silver anniversary.