10 Funny Wedding Card Quotes to Make Couples Laugh Out Loud (Updated September, 2025)
Discover the best funny wedding card quotes to make the couple laugh! Lighten the mood and create unforgettable memories with our hilarious suggestions!
By Juan C Olamendy · Updated:
Ever watched a newly-wed pair tear open a card and then snort so hard the groom’s bow-tie quivers?
It’s pure magic—one heartbeat they’re wiping away ceremony tears, the next they’re folded in half because you just dropped the perfect punch-line.
Truth is, about nine out of ten cards get slid into a drawer after a polite “aww.” The funny ones, though? They turn into the story Aunt Linda retells every Thanksgiving for the next ten years.
I’m scribbling this because I’ve sat through enough receptions to know that while the crowd writes “warmest wishes,” you’d rather be the legend who makes them blow champagne out their noses.
So we’re diving head-first into wedding humor—quick puns, sly one-liners, the kind of jokes that echo across the dance floor.
By the last line you’ll have a pocketful of quotes, a feel for reading the room, and the guts to pen the card that ends up framed on their mantel instead of buried in a shoe-box.
No cookie-cutter “best wishes” here—just belly-laughs wrapped in love.
Why Choose a Funny Wedding Card Message?
Let’s get real—weddings can be a pressure cooker of feelings.
A well-timed joke pops that steam valve and lets the joy leak out everywhere.
Funny cards stick out in the pile of mushy envelopes like a disco ball in a library.
You’re not just cracking the couple up; you’re gifting the whole table a shared laugh when the best man reads it aloud.
And on a day running high on emotion, a light jab is the perfect breather.
For extra pointers, peek at Hallmark’s Wedding Card Writing Tips.
What to Write in a Wedding Card: Funny
Funny Wedding Wishes for Newlywed Couple
Here are some starter jokes that toe the line without crossing it:
“Congrats on locating the only human on earth who’ll put up with your 3 a.m. conspiracy-theory rants!”
“May your Wi-Fi be strong and your arguments over the thermostat short-lived.”
“Welcome to forever: where ‘What’s for dinner?’ is the eternal cliff-hanger.”
Funny Wedding Card Messages for the Bride
Give the queen of the day a wink:
“Today you’re the bride, tomorrow you’re the remote-control sheriff—choose your battles wisely!”
“You locked down your prince—just remember even royalty leaves socks on the floor.”
“Here’s to love, laughter, and a lifetime of pretending his chili is edible.”
Funny Wedding Card Messages for the Groom
The groom gets his own roast:
“Congrats, man—your single-player season is officially over. Co-op mode forever!”
“Welcome to the family, bro. Spoiler: we’re all a little nuts.”
“Marriage: the only sport where the trophy sometimes throws dishes.”
Funny Wedding Messages for Family and Friends
For the whole cheering squad:
“Proof that love is blind—and now both of you need glasses.”
“You two go together like coffee and Monday mornings—chaotic but essential.”
“May your joint Netflix queue be harmonious and your takeout orders swift.”
Funny Wedding Messages for Cards to Daughter and Son-in-law
Dad-joke level, unlocked:
“Son-in-law, welcome! No refunds, no exchanges—store credit only.”
“To our daughter and her new co-pilot: may your love be glitch-free and your fridge always stocked.”
Humorous Wedding Card Messages to Son and Daughter-in-law
Mom’s two cents:
“Congrats on joining the ‘I can’t believe I’m married’ club—meetings are every Saturday morning at IKEA.”
“May your biggest daily decision be tacos or pizza, and may love always win.”
Funny Things to Write in a Wedding Card to Your Best Friend
Old buddies get the real dirt:
“You finally found someone to share your weirdness—about time!”
“To my partner-in-crime: may your inside jokes multiply and your arguments last shorter than a TikTok.”
“Love ya, weirdo—now go make some new embarrassing stories together.”
Crafting Your Own Funny Wedding Card Message
Tips for Writing a Funny Wedding Card Message
Know the Couple: Sarcasm slays with some folks, puns land better with others—tune your voice to theirs.
Keep it Light: Skip the ex-files and anything that could make Grandma clutch her pearls.
Pun It Up: “Vows are done—now let the ‘aisle’-ments of marriage begin!”
Get Personal: Reference that time they got lost on a hike and argued over whose fault it was—turn the memory into gold.
Stay Upbeat: Roast with love; punch up, never down.
Examples of Funny Wedding Quotes & Sayings
Need a spark? Borrow these:
“Marriage is like a deck of cards: hearts at the start, diamonds for the ring, then you’re hunting for a club and a spade.”
“Love is a battlefield—good thing you two are on the same team.”
“They say opposites attract; that explains why she’s always early and he’s… not.”
FAQs on Funny Wedding Card Messages
What is a good quote for a wedding card?
Keep it short and true: “Grow old along with me—the best is yet to be.”
What to write in a wedding card not cringe?
Speak like you’re texting them on a Tuesday: “So happy for you two crazy kids—now go make epic memories.”
What is a nice short wedding quote?
“Together is my favorite place.”
What to write in a wedding card from bridesmaid funny?
“I’ve seen your dress fittings, your 2 a.m. cake tastings, and your group-chat meltdowns—totally worth it. Love you!”
Useful Links
- Wedding Card Writing Tips
- Funny Wedding Wishes
- Wedding Card Message Ideas
- Wedding Wishes
- Wedding Card Messages
- Get Your Personalized Wedding Wishes!
- 10 Hilarious Wedding Card Messages to Make Them Laugh!
- 10 Heartfelt Religious Wedding Wishes to Bless Your Union
- 5 Heartfelt Messages to Mother of the Groom from Friend
- 5 Heartfelt Short Wedding Messages for Your Cousin's Big Day
- 10 Hilarious Ideas: What to Write in a Wedding Card for a Friend Funny
- 10 Heartfelt Ways to Celebrate Wedding Anniversary for Son and Daughter-in-Law
- 7 Heartfelt Ideas on What to Write in Cousin's Wedding Card
- 10 Funny Wedding Card Quotes to Make Couples Laugh Out Loud
- 5 Heartfelt Ways to Say Happy Anniversary to My Son and Daughter-in-Law
- Personalized Wedding Cards
- Marriage.com: 150+ Funny Wedding Messages
- Personal Chic: 50 Must-Read Funny Wedding Wishes
- Good Housekeeping: 210 Wedding Wishes
- Get Your Personalized Wedding Wishes
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With these zingers and tricks, you’re armed to craft a card they’ll quote forever.
Remember, the best jokes are just love in disguise—so let your pen run wild.
Conclusion
Here’s the bottom line: a funny wedding card isn’t just a gag—it’s a memory bomb.
While the stack of earnest “best wishes” collects dust, your line becomes the toast everyone repeats.
Read the room, match their vibe, and crack the joke only you could write.
Go make that couple snort-laugh; the dance floor will thank you.
Ready to turn sentiment into stand-up? Your personalized speech tips are waiting.
